An employee of the Bureau of Forensic Medical Examination is that the truth is and what a lie in police procedural shows, about everyday life in the morgue and the recipe for the perfect murder.

How does it work and how much does the forenswicpert earn in Russia

The monologue of the readers of the "knife", the young Russian foreman, about what really happens in the morgue, and that the scenarios of the American procedures took from the ceiling.

I have never had a role-playing model of forenswhelpert, and a special love for forensic medicine too. Just a specialty "Medical Biochemistry", according to which I received a diploma, implies that after the release you can choose only from two directions: clinical laboratory diagnosis and forensic examination. The first seemed boring, and I decided: I will become a forenswhelter, why not. He graduated from the internship and got a job at the Bureau of Forensic Medical Examination.

Now I work in the department examination of the corpses. I reveal the body and issue a conclusion about when and from what a man died. What a toal injury was applied and how exactly this happened – the forensic examinations of the physico-technical department and law enforcement agencies are established.

My favorite part of the work is to leave for the scene: each expert has shifts with away duty. I come to the place, the investigator and sometimes the precinct. The investigator is the main one, it can attract other specialists if it requires a matter.

The difference between Russian realities from Hollywood procedural shows – in the fact that we do not have a brigade of five, we cope with the investigator together: I look at the situation, I do photographs before proceeding to inspect the body.

My first departure was at the Hangbody. Tragicomic story. A couple of middle ages took the apartment for a day, and in the morning the lady discovered his companion hanging on the balcony. Asphyxia is the most common cause of suicide, this method usually choose men of the middle age. Causes are different – someone cannot accept the fact that it is sick, and someone just life is not sweet. Suicide ladies occur. I remember, one woman hanged himself on a door handle, leaving a note: "Vasya, I'm tired of me." There are not quite classic cases – for example, 4 o'clock in the morning, come and see: a man hangs in female underwear and kapron tights.

Inspection provides for a number of manipulations, the most disgusting of them is the temperature measurement in the rectum using a thermometer (in the same Holes, involuntary defecation always happens). Thermometry is a necessary procedure, it helps us to decide on the advance of the onset of death. In the TV shows you will not see how the expert shoves someone in the asshock ass, it introduces a sharp needle sensor through the puncture of the skin into the liver.In Russia, this method will also be applied, but many experts agree that it is not entirely comfortable at the scene, plus the thermometry of the rectum is a more accurate and scientifically based method.

So, one day, even during the period of studying at the boarding school, my curator and I went to the challenge: someone discovered a homeless without signs of life.

My curator instructed me an important task – insert a thermometer to the corpse at the very place. I started to perform it, and then the homeless shouted, it turned out to be a lively.

I do not like to leave for children and rotten corpses. Of course, professional deformation already begins with such work, but children still do not leave me indifferent, it was especially difficult at first. In general, the examination of children is the most difficult for any expert, not only in the emotional plan, but also in professional: very large amount of work. For example, if the Baby Corpse is brought, then the expert is to establish: newborn, livingborn, the donity and viability of the baby, the duration of intrauterine life and signs of care. This is a huge number of criteria that you need to describe and justify. With rot, everything is clear: the degree of grinding changes is different, but when it is expressed, the corpse is green, everything peels and inspection, to put it mildly, not very pleasant.

After the inspection, the protocol is compiled, then the investigator puts the issues to which he should answer in his conclusion. Contrary to the stereotype of smart detectives with experience and ingenious flames, real investigators are different, including not particularly friendly with logic. For example, a person is obviously strangled, but the investigator puts the question: "Could the death come as a result of sending poisons?".

Experts are present quite often on the courts if the lawyer needs it or this requires this. This usually happens in cases with violent deaths.

Series like CSI, "bones" and other similar things are delicious fairy tales, in relation to not only Russian reality, but also to forensic medicine as a whole.

For example, their heroes are called the long-time of death – 2 hours 15 minutes, inspected only with a society. In reality, such accuracy cannot be installed, especially in place. In the worst samples of the genre, a skeleton corpse from the lake is extracted and determined the limit of death in 4 days.

Even in such series, they love to make a master of the Wizard on all hands: he reveals, and histology looks, and he also has a killer to look for. Nonsense. It is not our job, moreover, we do not have right. Our main task is to establish the cause of the death, mechanism and nature of damage formation. All, we do not talk with anyone and do not pursue potential criminals.

Take the same series "Consequence by the Body" (Body of Proof), there is a pretty female foreman open the corpse without a hat. Scripts do not understand that it could affect work.Some believe that the hero of the series "Dexter" is a forensic medical expert, in fact he is just an expert criminalist. But I envy with envy on perfectly equipped rooms, section tables and tools of their "colleagues" in the TV shows.

That in films quite accurately reflects reality, this is the practice of finding a biomaterial criminal. If at the scene was found, for example, saliva or sperm, and it is possible to compare it with a model of a suspect, then it is done. In Russia too. Now the tendency is still common to raise long-term criminal cases with the preserved biomaterial and investigate them.

In our bureau, the rate is 9 thousand rubles. This amount comes with a norm in 9 examinations, then paid processing, surcharges for harmfulness, balsamation, duty.

As a result, my monthly salary is 20-25 thousand. Of course, in Moscow a different order of numbers. If an expert is experienced (experience more than 5 years old), with qualifications, then trust him by a decent amount of examination of various complexity, respectively, and the salary is greater. And of course, good relationships with the bosses are important. Forensic medicine – a specialty narrow, if you do not take care of your regional bureau, you will have to change the place of residence.

There are no special prospects for professional growth, you are either an expert or head of the department, but ideally – the head of the judicial bureau. It is very difficult to achieve this, especially in our country, a specialty, I repeat, very narrow and without influential friends can not do. In scientific terms, it is also very tight, because to write about something, it is necessary to conduct a study, and for this it is necessary to finance. In the period of training in the internship, I had a small scientific work, which remained only on paper, it did not work out.

Most of all in my work I like the schedule – I work from 8 to 16 hours. In the first half of the day I reveal, in the second I write a conclusion. Some experts take an autopsy takes 20-30 minutes, but I am still a novice specialist, so I reveal longer and carefully, about an hour.

Unlike Pallaananians, we always open three cavities: breast, abdominal and head. The incision is the choice of an expert, but most often we use the usual cross section (via Virhov), everything is very simple: the incision begins on the front surface of the neck for 1-2 cm below the chin and goes down, bypassing the navel on the left and reaching the pubic joint. Further, the expert separates the skin-muscular flap and the most interesting begins. Ribs dissect the rib knife by cartilage, I sometimes use a hammer, because I don't always have enough strength to dissemble the edge with a smooth movement. I saw that in some bureaus use a saw, but this is, how to say, for jewelers. After that, we capture the language and highlight the organicomplex. For me, it is very laborious, because the sectional tables are high, and I do not always see what I do, it falls on the touch to trim the diaphragm, otherwise the organicomplex does not pull out.We study and describe everything, down to the contents of the stomach and testicles.

A Y-shaped incision, which is usually shown in the movies, is used if relatives wish to preserve the décolleté area or an examination requires it. This method has many supporters, but I like the transverse one – it is simpler and uses less thread. The coolest autopsy – according to Medvedev: separation of the skin of the face and neck.

I never feel sick at autopsies unless the corpse is rotten. I remember when I opened up a rotten corpse for the first time, I almost threw up right in the sectional room, this is a terrible sight.

I will debunk another myth: no one seizes the organs of corpses for sale, they are useless material. Before getting to the dissecting table, the corpse most often spends the night in the refrigerator, and this time is of great importance for transplantation.

Everything that we seize during the autopsy is sent back to the corpse and goes to a better world.

I do not like the insecurity of an expert in my work. In some regions there are divisions into “dirty” and “clean” mortuaries: in the first, infected corpses (HIV, tuberculosis, etc.) are opened, in the second, everyone else. There is no such concept in our bureau, we have a general sectional room, where there is a colossal risk of catching some kind of infection. There are no special means of protection, our uniform is the so-called surgical suit: a cap, a medical mask, gloves and a disposable apron, which is only in theory designed for one time, in practice there is not enough money and we have to reuse it.

There is also physical and moral stress, especially physical stress. For example, I am a miniature girl, my height does not reach 160 cm, respectively, and the weight is small, and the corpses are large, and if I can’t cope on my own, then I have to ask the orderlies to help lift and lay the corpse. An autopsy requires good physical preparation. I know that in some bureaus, experts examine the organ complex already extracted by orderlies, but in our country, all these manipulations are performed by an expert.

After opening, the stage of embalming begins. We embalm in the classical way, using formalin. Formalin is very toxic, especially for young ladies, and in the sectional room it is present everywhere, during the autopsy we remove pieces of organs and place them in jars filled with this substance. Over time, I plan to transfer to the forensic biochemical department, it is safer and there are prospects for development in the scientific direction.

And again about unjustified stereotypes: the first one that connects us with pathologists is that during the autopsy we are devouring burgers. Nothing. Also, the morgue is not located in the basement, where darkness reigns – this would be contrary to sanitary standards. Our sectional room is very spacious and bright, and thanks to our orderlies it is always clean. Came to work – work, and for lunch there is a specially designated room, and each expert has an office.Of course, in the process of work, we can talk, joke, discuss abstract topics. We have an expert who likes to sing the novelties of domestic pop music during the autopsy.

And yes, a forensic expert is not a pathologist, these are completely different specialties.

Another image is cultivated, they say, forensic experts are gloomy and completely dependent on alcohol people. This, of course, is not true. There are also such individuals, but this is already a human factor, not a profession. I, for one, don't have a particular passion for alcohol, but I like to have some beer or wine with friends after a hard week at work.

My problem is that when young people find out who I work for, they stop talking. This is really sad.

In my practice, there were no detective stories with the theft of corpses or cases when criminals threatened the expert so that he distorted the data and excused the guilty person. There was only a case with a colleague from the biological department – the result of the examination to establish the blood group did not satisfy the investigator, and he pressed the expert quite hard in order to get the conclusion that would help him quickly close the case.

There are a lot of women in forensic medicine. For example, in the biological, chemical, biochemical and department of examination of living persons, they mainly work. In thanatology (examination of corpses), most of the workers are men, but there are also women. There are not very many young people, having worked for several years, many leave forensic medicine and go to other specialties.

How to get the perfect kill? Remember the principle "no body – no business."

If you want to commit the perfect crime, then the first advice is not to leave your biological material, and the second is to use logic. We had such a case: a woman was found by drinking buddies in an apartment, the alleged cause of death was poisoning with ethyl alcohol and surrogates (this is what the expert established at the scene). But during the autopsy, he discovered stab wounds, which should have entailed profuse blood loss. At the same time, the clothes of the corpse and the scene of the incident were without traces of blood. Accordingly, the drinking companions killed the victim, changed clothes, erased all traces and called the police. What they were up to is a mystery.

Most killers use knives, bricks, and firearms. Most often, murder weapons are left at the scene. Remember that murder is also a very dirty business, from which it is unlikely that you will be able to get out without loss.

Theoretically, the most reliable way to get rid of a person, so that later you do not have to hide the corpse, is poisoning. There are many poisons of an unexplored nature and those that are quickly excreted from the body, disintegrating in the body into non-specific products, and the pathology caused by them can resemble the consequences of diseases caused by natural causes.I won’t name anything specific, it’s still a criminal liability, although you can find everything your heart desires on the net.